Momville.com

According to the MSNBC:

‘Momnesia’ not just in moms’ heads March 6: Neurologists say there may be a biological basis for what new moms already know to be true — childrearing contributes to memory loss. NBC’s Savannah Guthrie reports.

   Thank God there’s someone out there validating this phenomenon. I thought I was just losing my mind. Forgetting to eat. Forgetting appointments. Forgetting to pay the bills (how in the world can you even do that???). Yep, for me it wasn’t little stuff like the car keys or my cellphone -it was bigger stuff. But it’s getting better now. I’ve been working on it for awhile.

   How did I do it? I stopped focusing in on my children as if I had  blinders on. I found myself thinking about their needs even when they weren’t around (i.e. – at preschool). I think that I have been so focused on them and their needs that I forgot about many of my own. It’s gotten much easier now that they are not little babies or very young toddlers. I feel like I can stand in the kitchen while they are in the living room and feel fairly confident that they aren’t going to just up and die while I’m in the next room because I’m not watching them.

   I’ve also been taking a little more time for myself. I got a membership to a local YMCA so that I could get out, meet new people, do something different, and get some exercise. Now that is multi-tasking! I have even started to stop and get lunch at places I like or have always wanted to try, all the while reminding myself that I don’t need to run right home. My husband is there or they are at school with their teachers and their little friends having a great time. The laundry can wait. Mommy needs some new experiences.

   Additionally, I have made a mental note (and sometimes paper notes) to remind me of just what areas seem to be falling through the cracks. I’ve spent a little more time and effort on those areas which has been enormously helpful. I put phone calls that I need to make in my dayplanner. Due dates for bills are altogether on only one page in the week to cut down on information overload. I also keep short to-do lists of only the most important things that need to get done.

   While I don’t think any of that would have helped much before both my children were over the age of two, it really is helping now. I think that nature just didn’t intend for a human mother to let her attention stray from her little ones and for good reason. It really could be dangerous for them.  If you still feel the need to stay so intensely focused of your children, that’s ok too. Just give dad some warning that he is gonna needs to take over the reins on some things for a bit.

   But just remember, it’s ok to look up from the blinders once in awhile.

 Additional links of interest:

The Mommy Brain – “Journalist Katherine Ellison draws on cutting-edge neuroscience research to demonstrate that, contrary to long-established wisdom that having children dumbs you down, raising children may make moms smarter. “

   You have to have a lot of guts to totally redesign your life. Fellas, imagine this. I want you to decide to quit your job or totally change jobs somewhere between 1 month and the next 6 months? That is the reality that hits a lot of new moms. Sometimes after the birth of their child, a woman just decides that there is no way that she could imagine totally leaving that helpless newborn in the care of some complete stranger for 40 hours per week (plus commute time). Blame it on survival of the species. We just aren’t meant to leave a baby alone. (Let’s see you leave your new babe on your front lawn for the next 8 hours. Bet you couldn’t do it.)

   The hormone surge that ensues after leaving a child initially equates to feeling like someone is playing ping-pong with your mental capacity for the day. Crying is common. Calling the childcare provider, whoever it is, 5 times per day becomes an instant obsessive-compulsive disorder. Who are we kidding? The first few weeks back at work are useless. We are definitely not thinking about work. Productivity drops to about 20% of our norm.

   So, what is a mom to do?

1. Go back to work anyway – full-tilt, regular schedule. Ignore the hormones and have bouts of guilt from time to time. “Am I working too much and taking too much time away from my child? “I’m missing their childhood.” “I want to be involved more.”  These thoughts can lead some ladies to number 2.
2. Get more flexible with work.  Many moms find themselves standing up for what they need from their job environment for the first time in their adult careers and perhaps in their adult life. Suddenly, asking to work part-time doesn’t seem crazy. Cutting back expenses to make it happen seems doable. Perhaps telecommuting from home is an option. Changing companies to a workplace that is more flexible makes some moms happier with their work / life balance. For some, they choose option number 3.
3. Change careers. Yes, even after a long time on the job, you may suddenly decide that the 60 hour weeks that are typical in your industry are just no longer appealing or doable. It’s time for a career change. Or maybe, you go on to option number 4.
4. Become a mompreneur. What is that? A women with a child (or children) that decides to start her own business to earn a living. Many of these businesses are extremely flexible in days and hours. You can set your own schedule. You can take off a day from work without asking if the kids are sick. You can go to soccer clinics, t-ball games and swim practice. You can fit your work in around your life, instead of the other way around. This option is not for the faint of heart or those with a weak stomach. Start-up companies are tough. Ask anyone who has tried it. It takes innovation, creativity, and thinking outside the box. You set the rules and the goals. But therein lies the problem, because you are setting the rules and the goals, that can also be your downfall. You’ll have to learn to be focused. Very focused. It can be a wonderful mission for those who choose to accept it or it can make you think that you’ll go bald from the stress of it. It can be hard to be ladylike and bald, you know.

   Let’s face it, sometimes women do not always ask for what they need out of life, work, or relationships. Becoming a mom can absolutely change that. A book I read recently titled, Secrets of Six-Figure Women by Barbara Stanny really hammers this home in an amazing way. (I highly recommend this book for all women especially if right now you make less than $30,000 per year.)

   Sit down with a pen and paper and figure out what life you want for your family and you. What situation is truly going to make you happy? At the end of the day, what are your goals for re-designing your work life? More time at home? More flexibility? More money? Same money, less hours? Less commuting? More self-satisfaction? Now then, do some brainstorming and figure out the path to get you there. The path is there you just have to find it. And guess what, there are alot of other moms out there just like you trying to do the same thing!

   Post a comment and tell us what type of work arrangement you currently have. Share your work story!

There seems to be quite a few things that you really should add to your blog to help get the word around, increase your traffic, and . As they say, make it easy for your customer to do business with you. In the case of your blog, you want it to be really easy for folks to save, link, and tell others about your blog. How else are you going to get rich and famous?

Here are the main ones that I’ve comes across so far:

share this     sharethis.com     This one is a plug-in for your blog that lets people mark your post in multiple places at once. Very useful.

technorati     technorati.com     You see this one on almost all blogs.

digg     digg.com     Ditto for this one.

twitter     twitter.com     The concept over here is like a mini-conversation.

reddit     reddit.com

stumble upon     stumbleupon.com     Pretty popular.

The rest of the list:

blinklist blinklist.com  – This one appears to be a newcomer to the block but seems to be picking up some speed on blogs around the net.

http://www.scratchback.com/   This is a new one but it looks very cool and promising. It creates a topspot widget for your blog. Nice.

Fair Review Project     fairreviewproject.com     Get your blog reviewed when you review someone else’s. Could prove useful for some insight.

Popularity Contest     http://alexking.org/projects/wordpress/popularity-contest     Useful plug-in if you are using Word Press for your blog. It will show the popularity of any given post (or page) in relation to the other posts /pages on your site.

So, what have you added to your own blog that you have found to be really helpful and / or valuable? What online community services are you using, hanging out it in, and spending your hard-to-come-by time in? Leave a comment about it below and let me know.