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Writing for neatness – Kindergarten and above

I have often had people ask me what I did to make my son write so neatly for a kindergartener. It all comes down to this – do you encourage neatness and writing s-l-o-w-l-y when getting your child to complete those pages of tracing (and freehand) letter practice? I noticed early in the school year, that his writing was horrible. It was at that time that I said to myself, “whoa, wait a minute, that really looks like chicken scratch! No way. We really have to do this right, otherwise what’s the point???”

If, when we first teach writing to our children, we do not encourage a child to exactly follow the form that is given on paper, to tell them to write slowly and do their absolute best, then just when are we going to do it? After they have already formed those little neural connections in the brain? Why train the brain to write bad letters when you can do it right the first time?

So here is exactly what I said, word for word. “Hey, wait a minute there. Let me see the paper that you are working on. Now, I want for you to take a look at their letters and then take a good look at yours. Do your letters look exactly like theirs?” He answered no. “Well then, we should re-do those letters that don’t look right. Right now, you are training your brain and your hand to write. And if you don’t practice making it look nice, then that won’t happen. Don’t you want your handwriting to look nice?” He answered yes. “Well then, do this part over (stop here and erase the worst of the letters) and this time, really take your time to make it look nice. You want to do you absolute best. Your handwriting says alot about who you are. Now, go ahead and try it again.”

When your child has finished their paper, have them point out to you what their favorite letters are on the paper. You can even have them circle those letters that they really like. I usually conclude a great handwriting session with, “now that is work you can be proud of!” That work gets posted immediately on the refrigerator, just like art! It should be shown off!

I believe after going through it all, that you have to teach children which of their work is their best. Teach them what to be proud of so they will know the difference!

It seems like all of a mom’s time before this age and stage is spent constantly telling our children that their work is: wonderful! That’s great! You did a good job! We do it for every little thing that they complete or do. I have totally done all of that. But at some point, we have to start telling our children that it is going to take some practice to get really good at something (like basketball, playing piano, riding a bike, swimming, standing on one foot, writing, math, spelling, etc., etc.). If we tell them that everything looks good, how are they to know the difference?

I was brought to all of this thinking by an old book that I read a long time ago. It was a book from the 1860’s that referring to teaching young ladies who were newly married how to sew for their home. The author said,

“I hope that when you were just learning to sew, as you were making clothes for your dolls out of the scraps that your mother gave you, that your mother carefully inspected all of your stiches. She surely would have pulled out any stiches that were incorrect and made you do them over until they were perfect. If she did not, then she has done you a disservice.”

I think that this passage is a huge indicator of the times. We seem to encourage quantity over quality these days. Imagine, if you only had to teach your child the 3 R’s, as they used to be called (’riting, reading, and ‘rithmetic), you would really focus in on every aspect and detail.

So what is a mom to do? Many of us work outside the home. Even if we don’t, we are left to care for all of the cooking, housework, and caring of all of the children by ourselves. Our children are asked to learn so many more subjects than they were 40 years ago. It is impossible to  teach every single subject and skill in great detail.

I would say that a pretty good method is to selectively focus on certain things, subjects, or skills that really seem to demand careful attention in relation to the other things that you are teaching your children. I consider careful handwriting practice to be one of those selective focus items.

   Ok folks, I really have to vent here. What I would really love to know is how many of you out there are giving your young child soda? Come on, fess up! Hopefully, the intelligent readers of Momville.com will absolutely know better than to do this. If not, it’s time for a little lecture. <you can hear sounds of a soapbox being pulled out>

   This blog entry was spurred on by something I read over at http://lifestylelaboratory.com/articles/nutrition-effects-stress.html  Here is a direct quote:

“In two- to five-year-olds, sugars, candy, and sweetened fruit drinks were major sources of carbohydrates, followed by soft drinks. In the six to 11 age group, soft drinks, sweetened cereals, cakes, cookies, and sweetened fruit drinks were the favorites. In teens, almost four-tenths, or 40 percent, of sugar calories came from soft drinks! Among 15-year-olds, the United States ranked among the top three countries where kids eat sweets, chocolate, and soft drinks every day!”

My Response

   What is soda? It is water, food coloring, fizz (which interferes with calcium in the body), CAFFEINE, and sugar. Some sodas also have food coloring, etc.. Do I drink soda? Yep… trying to quit. Do I give it to my two kids, ages 6 and 3? Absolutely, positively NOT. My son has been instructed and personally coached to flat out refuse soda anytime that it is offered to him. So what are his preferred drinks? Water, followed by milk and juice (watered down). That is exactly what a child’s drinks SHOULD be. Think 1950’s. Think about your child’s health. For goodness sakes, think about their teeth and the eating/drinking habits that you are setting them up for during their lifetime!

   Do you honestly think that you are doing your kid any favors by giving them a liquid stimulant drug? Are you kidding yourself? Would you give your child a cold, sweet cup of coffee? I certainly hope not. If so, perhaps there are other details of their health, nutrition, and physical fitness well being that you are missing as well.

So What Do You Do?

1.    Don’t take my word for it! Get other opinions. Ask around to some of the healthiest, most active people you know or can find. Ask a stranger! (I’m not kidding.) Do they give their kids soda? Then ask them what they do give their kids to drink. Call your pediatrician and ask them for advice. For God’s sake, call a nutritionist and set up a personal appointment for a consultation (you can find them online or in the phonebook). Get them to give you the run down on all of the latest thinking in regards to healthy eating / drinking for your child’s age group (as well as your own).

2.   Don’t succumb to peer pressure! If it’s all that is being offered, then get your kid a glass of water. I recently had my son’s birthday party at a bowling alley. Having been to a similar party or two, I knew that the standard fare would be pizza and soda. I specifically requested that NO soda be served. Instead, we had a pitcher of water and fruit punch. There was a pitcher of iced tea available for the parents.

   I’m reminded of seeing a child, who had to be no older than 3 years old, sitting in a shopping cart and being handed a bottle of Mountain Dew by his Dad. How sad. He probably got a spanking later for not wanting to take his nap while the parents sat around oblivious to the fact that they are feeding their child a stimulant. Perhaps they don’t even care. That’s even sadder.

   I am always coming up with new, creative things to do with my little ones (3 years and 6 years). Playing with food is a wonderful, tactile medium to use with kids, not to mention that they usually eat their creations! I put my son in the kitchen with me when he was about 18 months old (mostly to keep him from destroying the living room as I prepared /cleaned up from dinner). It’s amazing how much they can help you in there, if you let them. He loved it! He still does at 6 years old and can help fix quite a few things now.

The Rules & Lessons 

  So, let’s start with some basic structure for kitchen play. Rule #1, think of everything as a lesson. The lessons that you are trying to teach will depend on the age of the child, of course. The younger the child the simpler the lesson will be. For instance:

My 3 year old:

My 6 year old:

• Learning how to properly fill measuring cups and level them off with a butter knife.
• Learning how to fill glass measuring cups for measuring liquids.
• Cutting up items like tortillas into smaller pieces with close, over the shoulder supervision, of course.
• Learning how to wash fruits and vegetables for consumption.
• Filling bowls for dinner.
• Making sure that there are just enough plates, cups, silverware for everyone for diner.
• Decorating items like cookies, cupcakes, pizza, etc..
• Coming up with new ideas for foods, that we then follow through with. (Even if it sounds like a somewhat yucky combination), then talking about the results. Remember, that experience comes from having mistakes too!
• Using cookie cutters
• Filling molds 

   Rule #2, have lots of hand towels, paper towels, and a box of diaper wipes or some washcloths for cleanup. Messes are going to happen, but after doing this a few times, you will slowly get over the adult need to not spill, drop or plop anything on the floors or counters. After you see just how much your kids actually learn in the kitchen, it really relaxes you a lot. Math, science, fine motor, feeding their curiosity about how things work, vocabulary – it really leaves no stone unturned for learning.

   Rule #3, try to let each child create their own masterpiece instead of one family masterpiece, if you can. It lessens the fighting over taking turns, who gets to do what, etc.. not to mention it encourages each child’s individuality and creative expression.

   Rule #4, and this can be a tough one to follow. Keep your mouth quiet about your kids actually eating their creations. Taste your creation, make some ooohs and aaahs about how good your food is, and about how you really like this or that. “Mmmm” from mom goes a long way for encouraging your picky / reluctant eaters. The more you try to force them (”Come on, just try it, just one bite, oh what’s the matter! You never want to try anything new!) the less chance you are going to have that they will eat it.

The Ideas

Flatbread pizzas: We bought a package a flatbread and couldn’t use them all up so I decided to use them to make our own mini pizzas. (This will also work with totrillas, split english muffins, french bread, and small pizza crusts). Plop on some storebought pizza sauce; use bagged, pre-mixed Italian blend of cheeses (for something different than straight up mozzerella); put out plates full of chopped up veggies of different colors and cut up in different ways; and let your kids create faces, lions, house shapes, dinosaurs, cars, Sponge Bob, Curious George, or whatever they like.

   We have used plates of onion strips, green pepper (strips and diced), sliced mushrooms, pepperoni (cut into whatever shape was needed to help finish a picture), baby spinach leaves (washed well), sliced olives, jarred pimentos, red bell peppers, orange bell peppers, purple / red cabbage,  bean sprouts, artichoke hearts (canned in water and cut-up), cheddar cheese (used to add color where needed), feta cheese (in moderation because of the saltiness), tomatoes (slices and diced), carrots (sliced into circles which are great for eyes), pineapple (chunks or rings), etc.. Think in terms of shapes and many various colors. Cut up the same item in different ways so as to give a variety of shapes to build with. Forget about taste, at least to some extent.

Rainbow cupcake frosting: Buy a box of food coloring and some white frosting (we like cream cheese frosting instead of just vanilla) and make some cupcakes. We’ve made lemon poppyseed cupcakes, spice cake cupcakes, yellow cake mix, devil’s food, and marbled cupcakes. Then we put the frosting into a large bowl and doled out small amounts at a time into a smaller bowl and colored just enough to frost 2 or 3 cupcakes. Start with a light color and then see how you can change it. Make it darker, totally change the color to something else by adding a few drops of a different food coloring, etc.. We ended up making a whole rainbow of cupcakes. This kitchen experiment was a huge hit!

Custom sugar cookies: Get some refridgerated sugar cookie dough or make your own. Then get out a butter knife and let your child cut out any shape they like. Remember, your child will learn alot from watching you so make sure that you make one of your own so they can get some ideas! Rocket ships, houses, cars, bears, our family (mom, dad, 2 kids), smiley faces, butterflies, bugs, lizzards, etc.. You are really looking for a strong outline instead of lots of details. When it cooks, tiny details typically will melt away, so keep the ideas kind of big. Add details when you’re done with color sugars (available in the cake isle of the grocery store or at a party /specialty cooking store)

Fruit shapes: Cut up some watermelon, cantaloupe, and honey dew into large wedges and help your child build ABCs, numbers, boats, etc.. on a plate. Use cherries, raisins, nuts, shredded coconut, mini marshmellows (I wouldn’t use those with kids under 4 or 5 years old though.), etc. to help complete the decorations. Canned whipped cream makes for a great flourish at the end that the kids get really excited about.

Valentine’s houses: I bought a gingerbread house kit at Walgreens around Christmas time, except that we were so busy that we didn’t get around to fixing it then. We made it around the first week in February for a Valentine’s house. There are a ton of shaped candies around then. We also hit a local candy store for some tasty items that would make for good design editions. We will definately repeat this art project next year. Make sure you take lots of pictures of this one!

Construct a fruit salad: Mix your chosen items with strawberry yogurt. (Blueberries will turn vanilla yogurt kind of purple, which is also fun.)

Shredded coconut, fresh pineapple, cut-up apple (with at least some skin left on), seedless grapes (red or green), raisins, cherries, chopped walnuts or almonds, dried cranberries, fresh cut pears, orange segments, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, starfruit, etc.. all make wonderful additions. Try to choose some things that your child doesn’t normally have. Also, make sure that at least 2 of these things are in their fresh (not canned / processed) state. My children were totally fascinated with fresh pineapple, cherries, kiwi, and starfruit!

   We make a big deal out of going to the store or local farmer’s market to get the items. Then come home, cut it in half and let them look inside. We talk about where it comes from , and for my 6 year old, I get out a world map and show him where that place is on the map. We talk about what the temperature is like there and the weather in general is like there. We also talk about why that particular item will not grow here (too wet, too dry, not enough cold / heat, etc..)

   In general, we try to think outside of the box where possible. We play with it all, come up with new ways to get the shapes / colors we want, etc.. It’s as much play for me as it is for them. It’s a fun, satisfying experience for all of us. Enjoy and don’t forget to post food art ideas that you have tried!

“That which gets measured gets managed” 

   Hard times seem to be here for now. Gas is currently $4 per gallon and there is speculation on all of the money/financial shows that it is going to go to $5 per gallon. People are trading in their large SUVs and Suburbans as fast as they can get to the dealership and everyone seems to be starting to cut back, if even just a bit.

   I was talking to a friend the other day on the phone about the kind of food that I used to eat when I was first out on my own. We swapped a few basic recipes and that got me thinking, just how would I feed my family now if hard times were to really come again and money was truly scarce? You know, when you’re 18 through at least 28 or so you don’t think a lot about nutrition. But now that my kids are here I’m always thinking about how I can balance their meals overall.

   Here is my basic nutritional checklist for my kids (ages 3 and 6):

1.  Make food fun! Build your food. Play with your food. Get your hands into your food. (Wash your hands first!!!)
2. Vegetables everyday. No exceptions. Even if it has to be hidden.
3. Eat the colors of the rainbow. Blue/purple, red, green, orange/yellow, white.
4. Potatoes don’t count unless they have the skin on them and are not fried.
5. Olive oil where possible. Then canola oil. Then butter. This one is important!!!
6. Reduced sodium /no salt where possible.
7. Unsweetened where possible (this is a tough one!).
8. Protein everyday.
9. Limit red meat to some extent.
10. Fish at least once per week. (Working on getting that up to 2 – 3 times per week.)
11. Fruit once per day if possible but definitely multiple times per week.
12. Whole grains where possible.
13. Healthier cereals where possible. (Cheerios, Raisin Bran, Honey Nut Cheerios, Kashi, etc.)
14. Meatless meal once per week.
15. Less pepperoni, lunch meat, and bacon.
16. Eat from the local Farmer’s Market as much as possible for veggies.
17. Let them grow something out in the yard or in a pot outside that they can eat! (Touch it, see it, nurture it, play with it, prepare it, eat it. This really works wonders for picky eaters. It worked on my pickiest eater!)
18. More fresh food, less packaged / processed.
19. Water and low-fat milk to drink. (2% for now; skim as they get a little older)
20. Some juice but less juice overall. More whole fruit instead.

   So, tons of Ramen noodles will not fit the nutritional bill although throngs of people live their entire 20’s existing on little else. Here’s what I would perhaps serve my kids to keep it balanced.

Check prices to see which version is cheaper at the time you are shopping: fresh, frozen, or canned. Definitely check to see what’s on sale and in season. It will be cheaper. Bags of onions, potatoes, carrots, and beans would be essential. Bags of rice (preferably brown rice, but we’re still getting used to that) and boxes of pasta are also cheap staples.

• Cream of chicken soup, egg noodles, a little Ms. Dash, and a veggie thrown in. (Green peas work great for this.)
• Purchase fresh, whole chicken when it is on sale. (I’ve seen it as low as 39 cents per pound!) Bake them in the oven with some simple seasoning on them. Have dinner then cut up and shred what’s left. Freeze in small containers, covered in diluted chicken broth.
• Purchase cheap cuts of beef and put the slow cooker to work making it fabulous.
• Ditto for the pressure cooker.
• I would definitely try to grow things that we eat often. Cucumbers, tomatoes, zucchini, green beans, squash.
• Not too many people freeze or can their foods anymore but freezing foods for later is quick, easy, and pretty cheap. Buy food items when they are in peak season and cheap and freeze them for later. Look up “food preservation” for more information.

   What are your healthy but cheap meal ideas? Think of the single moms, working moms, and big families that you’ll help by leaving a comment with your ideas and recipes!

   I look forward to seeing what your family is eating when eating on the cheap!